Welcome, welcome, one and all!!

Not many leagues prize themselves on players like the gentleman seen above, Akili Smith

Welcome to one of those leagues.  A league where the likes of Alex Smith, JaMarcus Russell, and even Ryan Leaf would be cherished.  That's right folks, this is a league designed specifically for bad quarterbacks.  The worse the quarterback, the better said quarterback will be for our league.  Call us glass half empty guys, call us Negative Nathans, call us Danny Downers even.  Maybe we are.  But this is a league where we will succeed.  For a complete rundown of the rules, check out this:  Introducing Grantland's Bad Quarterback League.  Basically we, as players in this league, are rewarded for both on the field and off the field stupidity; yes, that means picks, fumbles, and being benched, along with arrests. Now let's meet the players:

John "The Natural Athlete" Loyko ("Carson Palmer - Comeback Central")

   - Born and raised in the armpit of CA (Fresno), John Loyko wasn't the most athletic of children. However, at the ripe age of 19, John took up rugby. One blown out knee later, he was relegated to the REAL sports of golf, disc golf, and softball. After three years and 47 units at Point Loma Nazarene University, he made the ambitious jump to San Diego Mesa College, followed shortly by a leap to Heald College's financial aid dept. A lifelong Chargers fan, John probably shouldn't draft his team in this league, unless they bring back Ryan Leaf that is!  When asked about John's fantasy football prowess, his father, Jack Loyko said, "John was born with a stat sheet in his hands!"


Robbie "The Cradle Robber" Naegele ("Cradle Robbin:  The Antonio Cromartie Experience")


   - Robbie "The Cradle Robber" Naegele turned to real estate immediately following his time at PLNU. After he failed at this, he made the logical transition to professional baseball. Two years and two teams you've never heard of later, at the age of 26, he realized true athleticism lies in fantasy football. He is the proud father of a dog who he promptly named Marley following the Owen Wilson tearjerker "Marley and Me." A 49er fan from San Diego, I congratulate Robbie on being part of the only fantasy draft where his team has a shot at a #1 pick. When asked about Robbie's fantasy football prowess, his dad responded, "what the hell is fantasy football?!


Jesse "Fuck what you Heard" Lacey ("Terrelle's Priors)


   - To attach the label of "Sports Guru" to Jesse Lacey would surely be an understatement. He is a true fan of every sport, whether athletic or not, spanning from Disc Golf to Football. If you could combine Zombies with athletics his life would surely be complete. The world would be a far better place if everybody had readily-available access to the creativity and insight he possesses. Raise your glass to a modern day "Real Man of Genius!"


Mike "No Pop" Miles ("Blowing Ryan's Leaf")


   - Michael Miles, San Diego, is a 24 year old graduate of PLNU.  Although he played (and got cut from) three sports in high school, he hasn't given up hope and has turned to golf and fantasy football.  Nicknamed "The Asian Persuasian" and "Supah Gookie Numba One" the Jap enjoys bodysurfing, snowboarding, words with friends, and bars in Hillcrest.  He lists his two favorite movies as "Letters from Iwo Jima" and the first half of "Pearl Harbor," while his least favorite is "Flags of our Fathers."  Miles is a paramedic, so that he can touch other men.


Matt "Pale Mary" Deegan ("I'm Bringing Rexi Back")


   - Matt, a native of the Windy City, is the only non-Californian in the league.  He is also old, 32.  He likes to woo girls with his Audi A4 and dreams of one day settling down with a nice lady.  Deegan lives by himself and struggles with human interactions.  Some say he is partially retarded, but his mom says, "My Matty is just so special."  A lost soul, Matt finds himself sympathizing with both the Cubs and the Bears.  In fact, this is one time when he wishes his beloved Bears were "Bringing Rexi Back"


Davis "Little Wormy" Koenig ("Russelling up Some Codeine")


   - Despite his pinkish hue and relatively small stature, Davis defines athletic excellence. After an stellar college baseball career, he has gone on to become a force in the bay area softball scene as well as arguably the best player ever to participate in SDABL. In his one and only SDABL game, he doubled, homered and pitched 2 innings recording all 6 outs by himself with 5 strikeouts and a comebacker. Also, he grows an above average mustache.




Now that you've met all of our players, let the games begin!  The draft will be tomorrow, Thursday, September 8, at 8:30 pm.  Be there.


Thank you and good night.


 - Commish